How many times  have we taken the adage “Men are from and Women are from Venus” in dark-humor, jest, or even desperation! It shows how little we know about the other sex, and how to deal with them. As with the planets there are some qualities which are distributed on either side of the median. Venus – Earth – Mars. And life on earth is all the more pleasurable, if we rein these qualities in. Then we would be galloping our way to satisfying relationships with your partners as well as in the social scene on our beautiful planet – the Earth.

Though we are born on earth, and almost as equals, both the sexes start to differentiate in their general behavior noticeably during their 10th year onwards. Till then we can notice that almost a half of the friends of a child are from the opposite sex. The factors of differentiation are many. Some of which are differential treatment by the parents, teasing by the peers, social stereotypes, etc..

The major qualities we find in Venus (Women) are:

• They are essentially emotional creatures
• More attuned to emotions in themselves as well as in others
• More empathetic
• Social beings

The major qualities found in Mars (Men) are:

• Analytical
• Pragmatic
• Emotionally veiled
• Less empathetic

The qualities discussed above are the extremes and sometimes even women are from Mars!!

The key to a smooth ride to our life on earth is a moderation of these qualities. But, before we discuss about what to do let’s just face some of the problems faced by couples in a relationship.

Venus:

• He just does not listen to what I say
• He avoids discussion on topics relating to the relationship
• I have to shout to get him to respond
• He just stares blankly at me

Mars:

• She keeps on blabbering till eternity
• She doesn’t listen to reason
• Why does she have to talk so much?
• Why does she always have to make a mountain out of a mound?!

And the list goes on….

The common undercurrent in these queries spawned in both of these aliens (from Mars and Venus) has a basis in their basic differences of the way the experience emotion.

A Venusian (woman) being an emotional creature likes to express her emotions and the way she feels, while on the other hand the Martian (man) is taught not to express his as it is considered a sign of weakness.

So judging from this, the first step to be taken by the Venusians as well as the Martians, to get along well on earth are as follows:

Venusians:
Try to keep your arguments to the case in point and try not to over generalize the situation.

If he is late to pick you up for movie, You can tell him that you felt ignored that he did not call you and that you are upset. But, don’t overgeneralize it say that he is a irresponsible, and doesn’t care about you at all. The focus should always be on the case in point but should not be an attack on his character.

The moment the Martian experiences an attack on his character, He either explodes in anger, or stonewalls. Both, signalling a bumpy ride or in due course the end of the road.

Martians:
Listen to what she has to say before jumping to a conclusion.

If she’s bringing up a topic for discussion, don’t offer a solution too early. It makes her feel that her feelings are not of any consequence to you. Just the act of you listening to her gives her the satisfaction of being heard.

The Venusians being emotional creatures (how many times have I mentioned that?) need an emotional outlet. It doesn’t matter whether you agree with what they say. It is important that you’ve heeded their feelings, and then arrived at a solution or a conclusion.

There may be many differences in these two alien species. But, the differences are only in the degree of expression of the qualities. Like the diverse climates and even the color of the two planets on either side of earth, which is incidentally a harmonious and beautiful mix of the reddish tinge of Land and the deep blue of the ocean. And, in pursuit of this beauty, the Venusians and Martians ended up on earth.

– Vignan Tej